


In this lifetime and the next

by sparegarbage



Category: Gaya Sa Pelikula (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Hurt, Implied Character Death, Lost Love, Lost Time, M/M, Pining, Years After, heaven's waiting, hintayan ng langit, love letter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:35:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29037966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparegarbage/pseuds/sparegarbage
Summary: Our time together was so short, but it’s taking an entire lifetime for my heart to forget you. Between the two of us, I don’t think it wants to.Karlvlad oneshot. An older Karl reminisces the life they could have had together. Alternate ending of Gaya sa Pelikula x Hintayan ng Langit; loosely based on Letter #38 and Lifetime by Ben&Ben.
Relationships: Karl Frederick Almasen/Jose Vladimir Austria
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	In this lifetime and the next

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction using the characters from Juan Miguel Severo's Gaya sa Pelikula. The author does not claim ownership of the characters or the universe it is set in. Elements from JMS' Hintayan ng Langit are borrowed for this work.

I still think of the lifetime we could have spent together.

We would have gone everywhere, Vlad. You said you wanted to take me places and I would have followed you to the ends of the earth. We would have travelled the world and captured its stories. The world would have seen us and believed our love was made of the same magic as film.

We would have stayed in bed on Sundays, refusing to leave each other’s arms. You would have made us pancakes with bacon and eggs, sunny side up, while I prepared the coffee—the only thing you trusted me to do in the kitchen.

We would have had a family. Whether we had two toddlers running around, or a loving dog greeting us every morning, or if it had just been the two of us, it would have been a family, because you were my home.

If the world had been kinder, if Fate had given us a chance, we would have been able to love each other in the way we both deserved. But years have passed. The sun has come and gone. We have lived entire lives separate from each other. Ironic, isn’t it, that there was a time I couldn’t breathe if you were not mine, when you have not been mine for so long.

I’m proud of the man you’d become, Vlad. You’ve come a long way from the lost boy I found dancing in his room all those moons ago. It just hurts that I wasn’t there for the journey.

We were both at fault, I know. You went to Germany and you never came back. I asked for space and I never closed the gap.

Space. Time. If I knew that what I was asking for meant years and years—an entire lifetime—away from you, would I still have uttered those words? Would I still have said them when it meant I never got to hold your hand again, or feel your skin against mine, or hear the soft caress of your breath against my ears as we lay in bed in the dark of night whispering sweet nothings and everything to each other?

In the short months we were afforded together, you came to know me better than I know myself, so you should know by now. I would choose you, Vlad. In this lifetime and the next, I will always choose you.

I would choose you and you would have chosen me. So why didn’t we?

How many wrong turns did we take that we lost our paths completely? We have found ourselves out of view from one another in this life. Every day, I must live with the choices I made when I was younger and stomach the regret that I once let pride and foolishness come between me and the truest love I have ever known.

Our time together was so short, but it’s taking an entire lifetime for my heart to forget you. Between the two of us, I don’t think it wants to.

Vlad, I should have waited for you, but I wish you waited for me. You left me once already. I thought I was empty when we were apart, when there were so many miles separating us. But what is left of me now that you’re in a place I can’t reach? I don’t know who I am without my heart and my soul.

The world isn’t the same without your warmth, your bright laughter, your kind eyes, and the passion you bring into everything you do. No matter what I do or where I go, nothing feels like home anymore. I’ve missed you since the day we said goodbye, with only your luggage witness to our tearful exchange. The air had hung heavy with the words we weren’t brave enough to say, but if I knew then that it would be our last farewell, I would have gathered every bit of courage I had to beg: _“Leave your heart with me when you go.”_

Wherever you are, Vlad, I hope you wait for me in the way I should have done for you. You told me once that we deserved the chance to continue our story. I hope you hold on to that. Maybe Fate will be kinder to us in the next lifetime, and someday, somehow, we will be together again. 

We’ve already lost so many years. I may have achieved much in that time, but I would give it all up if it meant another hug, another kiss, another moment I could spend with you.

It feels like we missed too many chances, but I’m taking control of our story. There should be a next part, Vlad. You pick the ending. Tell me you’ll stay in heaven’s waiting, just until I can meet you there.

_Yours, forever and always,_

Karl

**Author's Note:**

> As a KarlVlad Endgame Advocate, it's painful to imagine any reality where these two are not together. This is me taking the worst possible ending--meeting your soulmate and losing precious time with them--and making it my own, as if I could temper the hurt and inject hope where I can. If such a universe had to exist, I take comfort in the thought that they will find each other in the next lifetime. 
> 
> Mentions of Fate are loosely inspired by Two Lost Stars by writingcap


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